Donutland with Dad

I think every community has that place. That iconic diner or that coffee shop that is the place to go to hear about all the happenings in the neighborhood. There is also that legendary donut shop. The donuts are probably not that much better (maybe they are in some cases) than the national donut chain you can find in the community as well. There is just something that makes this place and their donuts more…real.

For my childhood in Iowa and, based on the fact that it is still there some 40 + years later, that awesome (yes, awesome) donut shop was Donutland. Yes, a land of donuts! Donutland had all the usual selections, bear claws, cherry, chocolate, plain and, my favorite, blueberry.

Lately, I’ve hungered for that Donutland blueberry donut. I was trying to figure out why and it finally hit me. Yes, the donuts were good, but what made that donut so good to me and probably even better to me now wasn’t the ingredients or the atmosphere or even the taste. What made Donutland and its donuts so good was my experience there. It was a tradition. It was who I spent time with there. I’ve hungered for these donuts recently because I missed something way bigger than donuts.

Every Saturday morning, my Dad would take us kids to Donutland. It doesn’t sound like much does it. But, as a child, come on! This is pretty big. I always had the same thing, a blueberry donut and a small carton of chocolate milk.

Maybe I was a simple kid but, seriously, this was the highlight of my week.

I didn’t have the closest relationship with my Dad growing up. I’ve mentioned it in an earlier blog post , but I know he cared about us and wanted the best for us. And, somehow he knew that this tradition would be something special for us to experience together. He may not have had the words all the time. He may have been uncomfortable with the emotional side of fatherhood, but he knew that experiences like our Saturday morning tradition connected us.

It worked. To this day, when I taste a blueberry donut, I think about my dad and our Saturday mornings at Donutland

What’s your Donutland? What traditions have you created for you and your child(ren)? If you haven’t, start thinking intentionally about your time with them. How difficult was it for my dad to create this tradition? Not difficult! Was it expensive? Not really at all. What’s holding you back?

I believe moments like these are so key to our relationships with our kids. These moments allow us to have those deeper discussions about more important things. Plus, they are just fun! Laughing with your kid(s) is one of the highlights of being a dad, don’t you think?

I hope that decades from now my son looks back at our times together just as fondly as I do with my dad. I imagine you hope the same of your child(ren). Don’t wait. Start planning those things, even if they are little things. This time will slip by fast and before you know it, it will be gone. I often tell my Fatherhood Mentees that fatherhood is intentionality. Intentional words and actions are key in your relationship with your child and help develop them into the man/woman you dream they will be.

Be intentional. Maybe find your Donutland.

Thanks Pops!